Taking a day’s worth, and no more.

March 6, 2008

Here’s an example of how my own ambition can crush me.

I have a to-do list, and with it comes a preconceived notion of how much I can accomplish in a day.

And if that was more on the underestimating side, it wouldn’t be a problem.

But it’s over. WAY over.

So at the end of the day, there are always things left over on the list. And even though I accomplished a number of them, I feel like a failure. Glass half empty, anyone?

Yes, I have dreams, goals and objectives. They are good and important.

But somehow my life is half empty, until I can check them off as “done.” That’s why I’m in a hurry. I want to hurry up and become a success.

Fully knowing that the path is the important part. After checking off the ones I have, I’m sure I’ll have a whole new set.

Things happen during the days. And I have no control over many of them. Crisis at work, family members sick, cars breaking down. I’m constantly adjusting my estimation of how productive I can be — and it usually gets reduced, instead of increasing.

If I were a success, if I had nothing to prove, then I’m sure it’s easier to take each day for what it is.

Alas, I am trying to prove something. Aren’t business plans and career goals all about proving something?

They don’t need to be, I’m sure. But I haven’t figured out that piece yet.

Maybe tomorrow.

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