March 6, 2008
Here’s an example of how my own ambition can crush me.
I have a to-do list, and with it comes a preconceived notion of how much I can accomplish in a day.
And if that was more on the underestimating side, it wouldn’t be a problem.
But it’s over. WAY over.
So at the end of the day, there are always things left over on the list. And even though I accomplished a number of them, I feel like a failure. Glass half empty, anyone?
Yes, I have dreams, goals and objectives. They are good and important.
But somehow my life is half empty, until I can check them off as “done.” That’s why I’m in a hurry. I want to hurry up and become a success.
Fully knowing that the path is the important part. After checking off the ones I have, I’m sure I’ll have a whole new set.
Things happen during the days. And I have no control over many of them. Crisis at work, family members sick, cars breaking down. I’m constantly adjusting my estimation of how productive I can be — and it usually gets reduced, instead of increasing.
If I were a success, if I had nothing to prove, then I’m sure it’s easier to take each day for what it is.
Alas, I am trying to prove something. Aren’t business plans and career goals all about proving something?
They don’t need to be, I’m sure. But I haven’t figured out that piece yet.