The Question of Persona

June 25, 2008

Welcome, new visitor! My name is Ari, the man behind Aries9. Here I share my thoughts on music and life, so you can get to know me and my music. Thanks for visiting!

All of us do this to some extent.

To show the sides of our personalities that are appropriate in any given situation.

You may not swear as often in the company of your parents or grandparents.

Or maybe you do.

On your best behavior on your date?  Or talk trash on stage, between songs, like you’ve seen many other rock stars do?

We all have some degrees of personas.  And I do, too.

I think how I present myself in my blog, in my communications relating to my music — is a fairly sincere, truthful persona.  I’m not hiding much.  I think I come across more or less like this in person, especially in one-to-one conversations.

I can’t help but be me, and for the most part, I’m comfortable with that.  But I also have to admit, that I am still in the process accepting this person that is me, making the kind of music I do.

I’ve never heard or seen a persona like this one among rock music circles.  Among those who play heavy/aggressive/progressive rock music.

I’m going to reveal a complete stereotype, but they do fit, most of the times.  Heavy metal guys look, talk and act like heavy metal guys.  Grunge guys have their ways.  I can spot musicians on streets — because they dress and talk and act a certain way.  They emit a vibe.

Or I’m going to confess the flip side.  If I’m out meeting people with my family — and typically, we meet other families.  Dads and moms.  Devoted parents.  And I hesitate to mention what kind of music I make.  My music doesn’t seem like the type of music a parent should make.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re going to say.  Why do you care about “should’s?”   Be yourself!  Make the music you love!  Be proud of it!

And you are right, and I do what I do, and I love it.  I’m not going to change for anything.

But some days, an ugly doubt raises its head.  Is it really me?  Is it really acceptable to be who I am and make the music I make?

When I don’t see anyone else with a similar persona, and making aggressive rock?

It’s a funny thing.  In music, uniqueness is supposed to be an asset.  Yet, you’d also feel unsure, lonely even, when you feel like there’s no precedence.

Now, I am not saying that there are no precedence.  I find great comfort in looking at guys like Steve Wilson of Porcupine Tree, and Stone Gossard of Pearl Jam.  They look like decent, intellectual, thoughtful human beings — like me.  ;-)  They look like they could be computer programmers.  I’m not saying that most rock musicians aren’t decent.  But you know — a lot of them are punks.  ;-)  I’m not a punk.  Nor a nerd.  Or a geek.  Or a metalhead.

What am I, then?  Well, you can probably tell me that better than I can. A goody-two-shoes, maybe?  Bookish, too.

I do relate to Stone, and I appreciate him, whenever I see or hear him in interviews.  He seems like a no-nonsense, down-to-earth guy.  A regular guy.  He doesn’t exactly look like a rock star that he is — short hair, glasses, regular clothes.

I’m like that.  People would never guess that I am a rock guitarist, by meeting me in person.

So, I have atypical persona for a rock musician.  Big deal.  It is an asset, something that distinguish me from others.

But in my hours of weakness, I sometimes wonder.

If it would be anyway “easier” if I were more “typical.”

…..

I may be over-sentimental, but I am not dumb.  I know the answer to that question.

Yes, I do.

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